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Tom Ford Noir

27 Feb

Tom Ford Noir is the scent of being an outsider. It is walking in steel-toe leather boots through an industrial park where large gates and fences prevent you from seeing which materials are being stored and manufactured.

It is heat rising off the tracks as you wait for the commuter train to pick you up in Newark.

It’s Summer Sun on a tar roof of a house across the street from an Exxon Mobile refinery sans the sulfur.

It’s masculine in a Werner Herzog kind of way, which is not to say he would wear it, (I don’t think he would), but he might make a movie about a place that smelled from it.

It is salty, oily, black rubber (maybe a dark purple that looks black) with chemical heat and the sparkle of minerals. It has a sweetness that is suspicious, like an otherworldly stench floating down-wind from a factory.

It has fantastic projection and lasts forever. In fact, it will probably still be here long after we are all gone. It’s almost a sentimental fragrance in that way.

It’s memorable and surreal, like Winter train tracks in the distance, that lead to a depressed town in Connecticut, where once there was a thriving port, but now there is only the Coast Guard,a few dive bars, and a nuclear sub base.

Tom Ford Black Orchid

26 Feb

Tom Ford Black orchid starts with a pink/purple puff of sweet air like a whiff of a sweet chemical bi-product from an unknown location in Newark, New Jersey. It makes you think of vapor from the runoff from some sort of fragrance factory where super sweet fragrances are bottled. You try to figure out which direction the wind is blowing…

Just then, WHAM, you get hit in the face with a tire swing. Somewhat stunned, you stagger backward, touching your nose carefully to see if blood is streaming out, and when you find to great relief, that you didn’t get injured, you notice that the “pink wind” doesn’t smell nearly as off-putting as when you first noticed it.

It even smells a little like chocolate sandwich cookies with vanilla creme filling and flowers mixed with rubber and burning chemicals, kind of compelling in a strange way. Then you worry that you might be concussed.

Black Orchid is a mysterious fragrance. It is standing outside, trying to take cues from the scents surrounding you, and failing.

It’s an overcast day, when the sky is an impenetrable grey, but you can’t tell for the life of you whether the cloud cover is normal water vapor or pollution.

The longer I wear it, the more I like it, but it is beautiful in the way an industrial landscape is beautiful. Scary, majestic, and so unapologetically man-made, that it commands awe.
Literally awe-some.

Tom Ford- Tom Ford Extreme

21 Feb

Tom Ford Extreme begins with an oxblood leather couch in the study of a renowned psychiatrist. The study is lined with books and the sprawling hardwood desk contains a silver letter opener, a meteorite paperweight, and other lavish clutter. Next to the desk is a pipe chest, where an extraordinary collection of pipes from all over the world, fine tobacco, and spiny brand new pipe cleaners all wait silently in the dark.

This rich but reserved fragrance delivers a salty creamy leather note, slightly sweet tobacco, woods and scotch, incense, a soft patchouli, and a combination of warm spices, making it intimate but not nearly as loud as I expected it to be.

It wears very close to the skin, such that it feels less extreme externally, but is suggestive of an intensity that is not at once visible, as if the “extremity” were being carefully bottled and stored somewhere under the surface.

Tom Ford Extreme is a depiction of a man who is markedly reserved and sophisticated on the outside, socially at ease, wearing his facade like a pro whenever he is in public or entertaining friends,

but the dark shades of his personality and inner emotional life are almost entirely hidden. They are there, and there is abysmal depth to them, but you’d never know it, unless you spent enough time and energy chiseling away at his confident exterior.

The man who embodies Tom Ford Extreme is not a tasteless show off, and he doesn’t get taken advantage of.. but stick around long enough and surrender your inhibitions to his charm, and you may end up seeing something you wish you hadn’t.

Chalk it up to experience.

Tom Ford Grey Vetiver

21 Feb

Grey Vetiver is a veil of reserved masculinity. If you had an android disguised as a human, and wanted him to smell “real” (and then get a lucrative office job), you might first want to spray him a few times with TF Grey Vetiver. It’s like a slightly synthetic clean skin scent. It is simultaneously straightforward and elusive, leaving and returning in whiffs over the course of its considerable life-span.

After the citrus opening dissipates and the vetiver emerges, one is left with a quintessentially masculine grouping of elements. It’s clean laundry with the faintest trace of fabric softener and a slightly green, salty, earthiness which smells like readymade skin scent, almost like a signature sans the perfume. Perhaps Christopher Brosius should spend some time with this one, since he “hates perfumes” so much.

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